


Together Or Alone

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 13:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17023851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: You were recruited for the Super Soldier program but how much could you lose in pursuit of defending your country?  Your freedom? Your life?  Your Bucky?





	Together Or Alone

“YOU DO THIS AND YOU DO IT ON YOUR OWN!” those were the last words he had said to you and the one memory he seemed to be able to hold on to no matter how many wipes they put him through. The hurt in your eyes haunted him and in the depths of night when he couldn’t sleep it was your face he could see clear as day and guilt knotted in his stomach as the stupid fight played over and over, his own personal torture. 

Bucky hadn’t been ecstatic about Steve signing up for the Super Soldier treatment but when you said you had been approached he couldn’t keep his tongue. He had seen what it was like out there and you were the last person he wanted subjected to the horrors. No, you were supposed to be here waiting for him, his reason to fight, something to get back to. He had never told you this, of course, James Barnes could never lay himself bare like that to you in case you laughed in his face or something but… you were his girl damn it. The argument raged on for at least an hour with raised voices and Steve trying his best to step in and calm the situation but as soon as those words had left Bucky's mouth you all knew it was over. You had turned on your heels and high tailed it out of their so quick he didn’t even get chance to apologies and that was the last time he had ever seen you. Only it wasn’t.

You had been training. Hydra always had you training, competing against the other Winter Soldiers to see who was the best, which weapon most effective. It had been so many years since they had captured you and with each ‘treatment’ you had lost any sense of yourself. Now you were nothing but a killing machine designed to obey orders. Standing in the small room of your ‘colleagues’ you were sizing up your opponent when the door opened and two guards came in flanking a muscular brunette who looked somehow familiar. Your brow furrowed slightly and when his cool grey eyes met your own there was a flash of something there. All of your instincts were screaming at you to go to this man and while you were distracted the bald giant opposite you took his opportunity and you realised too late that his fist was flying towards your face. Narrowly avoiding the blow, you knew you were on the backfoot and as you concentrated on the fight at hand you were aware of a change of atmosphere in the room. There were more fights breaking out around you and what had started as sparring was quickly becoming a brawl. Alarms were sounding through the compound but you were focused on staying alive while being massively outnumbered. Your legs were swept from beneath you and your opponent placed his foot on your back, his hands gripping your arm twisting sadistically. There was a loud crack and you heard a scream of agony that sounded as if it came from you before everything went black.

As soon as Bucky had entered the room he felt the tension and when his eyes met yours he felt his heart stutter. Eyes widening slightly, he couldn’t place you but he knew you were important to him. He didn’t want to give anything away in case Hydra noticed and took you away from him before he could figure out who you were to him. Before he could even take a step forward the attack had begun. Punching his way through other Winter Soldiers he fought to get to you, he couldn’t lose you now, not when he had only just found you. By the time he reached you the powers that be had begun to pump a sleep gas into the room, taking down the Soldiers so they could be taken and wiped again while the damaged was assessed. As he sank to his knees the last thing he saw was you lay on the floor in a pool of blood, your severed arm next to you. Letting out a whimper he reached for you but fell short as he slipped into unconsciousness.

“Bucky,” you giggled, “you know you should never have let him ride the Cylone.” The three of you were walking arm in arm together through the fairground as Bucky pointed out the various rides Steve had thrown up after. It wasn’t unusual for the three of you to be together, in fact wherever one of you was the other two were never far away. It was such an easy friendship and Bucky would do anything to make you smile, something which had not gone unnoticed by Steve. Bucky insisted that Steve be with you all the time, partly because he didn’t want his best friend to feel left out but partly because he didn’t know how to be alone with you. 

The memory flashed briefly in his mind, the sun captured in your hair, the sweet cadence of your laughter ringing in his ears and then once more you were gone. The pain Bucky felt with each wipe wasn’t only physical, it was the mental stripping that hit him hardest. Just as he began to get a sense of self they would take it away leaving him alone and empty and confused. 

Training changed after that day. It was much more controlled, limited to pairs or a maximum of four soldiers at a time. The first time they had pitted you and Bucky against each other had been a disaster. Circling, you simply observed each other. No words were spoken but your actions were enough for the mystery men behind your incarceration to do some background digging. When they discovered that you had known each other in a previous life the idea of partnering you up was floated. There was opposition to this. Nobody wanted either of you to remember, to plot an escape but they sensed there was an untapped power there that if handled right could prove useful. Pairing you up against opponents worked better than they had even hoped. Without a single word, the two of you communicated and your efficiency increased ten-fold. In the field you were unstoppable and whenever you seemed to be getting a little too close they wiped you. 

Still the memory of the pain in your eyes, the words he had yelled ringing in his ears, they held on somewhere in him. The pair of you never spoke, he had long since forgotten what you sounded like and you never showed any hint of remembering his final words to you. The hints of memories that came through at times could be inviting but he wondered if maybe they were false, perhaps he didn’t know you at all and these thoughts had been planted when they had decided to partner you up together. Nothing seemed real and as Bucky sat on his bunk that night he placed his head in his hands and wept for all the things he couldn’t remember and all the things he wasn’t sure were real. His tears were for you, for him, for the ghost of a life he suspected you might have once had together. He knew in the morning they would come for him, strap him down in that chair again and rip him inside out. Bucky was resigned to that fact and had long since given up caring.

Hydra made a mistake sending him up against Captain America. They thought they knew how Bucky would react after seeing the Winter Soldier and the Ice Maiden working so efficiently together but the combination of her and Steve had furiously tried to override his memory, had him piecing things together and they couldn’t have that. He had questions, so many questions but the most pressing was ‘who is Bucky?’. Sitting in the back of the van on your way back to the facility his stormy grey eyes met yours and he uttered his first words, a question. “Bucky?” his brow was furrowed but as soon as the word was out of his mouth a memory stirred within you and your eyes widened. 

“Bucky.” You whispered breathlessly and he felt his heart stutter as if he had waited all this time for you to utter that one word. You opened your mouth to say more but the door of the van opened and you were ordered back into the compound. 

They kept you apart after that wipe. Both of you grew restless but couldn’t explain why, you just knew something was missing. When they sent Bucky after Steve again they decided to pull out their ace card. Briefing Buck on his mission they placed several photographs on the table claiming these were the ‘victims’ of Captain America. The last one the agent placed down was of you and an unexplainable pain shot through Bucky's chest leaving him short of breath as he gripped the edge of the table. His vision went blurry as tears sprang to his eyes. He had no idea why his body was reacting in this way, he only knew this was one mission he was going to complete or die trying.

They made you watch, the sadistic bastards. Standing on the riverbank you saw the crash and although you didn’t know the Soldier they had sent in you felt your heartbreak. They had shown you a photograph of Barnes, explained that should he fail it was your job to avenge him. You were a good soldier and nodded, staring blankly up, trying to assess how the battle was going. As they hit the water you ran, on automatic pilot, your body was fighting to get to him, make sure he was okay. You had to take out several of your own agents but they were really no match for you and in no time you were waist deep in the freezing cold water, scanning the debris for any sign of life. You had just about given up when you spotted a figure dragging another out of the water a little further downstream. Running towards them you saw Bucky lay Steve down on the bank and begin to walk away. You don’t know why but you shouted the first thing that came into your mind in desperation. “BUCKY!” He froze and then slowly turned to look in your direction his eyes filled with confusion and fear. Tentatively you climbed out of the water and stood before him, shivering slightly, both of you soaked to the bone. Reaching out a hand to him you never broke eye contact. “You do this and we do it together.” You said quietly just praying he would run with you. You had no real memory of his man, didn’t even know his name and yet you knew he was important to you. Tilting his head his eyes scanned your face before softening a little. Taking your hand he nodded and you took your first steps as Hydra fugitives together.


End file.
